Can Childless Cat Ladies Care About Society?
There is a sect of people who believe that if you do not have kids you cannot care about the future. You cannot care about society because you don’t have a ‘stake’ in it. That not having kids means if there was complete anarchy, everything turned to flames and vipers roamed the streets biting grand mothers, what would you care? It’s not like you have kids! Having kids means you’d pulled that snake off of that lady. Not having kids means you’d sit back, popcorn in hand, watching an elderly be devoured.
‘Get her, snake! Then get me! I don’t care what happens!’
There is a sect of people also saying that they wouldn’t want their kids taught by someone who doesn’t have kids of their own. What does this mean? Should planes only be flown by pilots who OWN a plane? Trains driven by people who have their own personal railway?
‘Hey, before I get on this Greyhound bus, do you own it?’
‘Do I own it?… Buddy… it’s a Greyhound Bus. Nobody on here owns anything. Get in or get off I don’t care both of my feet are dead.’
We all know there’s a LOT of people with kids who shouldn’t be in control of anything, right? John Wayne Gacy had kids. Was he better equipped to teach a psych class over someone who doesn’t? Diddy has kids. Should he decide what curriculum goes into sex-ed over someone who currently doesn’t have children of their own?
‘Do you have kids?’
‘I don’t. No criminal record either.’
‘Ugh. I don’t want my kid going to your daycare. What about you?’
‘Nine kids, seven DUI’s and a gun charge.’
‘Great! Nine kids? Perfect. Here’s another. I’ll be back at four. Or five. You got it.’
People without kids can care about the future and society because they live in society and still like a good future. So even though they themselves might not have kids, how people decide to raise/educate/teach/school/reprimand or whatever kids, the ones that are out there, determines whether or not it’s safe to go to a grocery store. Determines whether or not you’ll be eaten by someone who doesn’t have the capacity to wait for you to pick out some bananas. The kids that are rocking teachers in the eyes with iPads because they’re told to stop making reaction videos in class, could one day be rocking us all in the eyes.
‘Hey, are you waiting in line?’
*Swings grocery basket their holding at your head
‘Gahghghg!’
I’m not against kids. Not at all. I don’t have any but I don’t dislike them. I might have one one day. I saw a kid in the airport in a terminal waving at everyone that passed him.
‘Hi’
Just one of the cutest things out there. I can care about the future and society for me and this little guy. I don’t NEED a kid to understand that I don’t want THIS one living in a world of fire roads and vipers eating grandfathers. UNLESS he grows up to instead of wave at people, bash them in the head with a Nintendo DS. Then all bets are off, buddy. I’ll open the cage door of a rattlesnake myself…
Comedian Nathan Macintosh… is a comedian. Comedy specials ‘Money Never Wakes’ and ‘Down With Tech’ on Youtube