Nathan Macintosh

Welcome to the website for comedian Nathan Macintosh! 

You can find show dates, Videos, Blog, Instagram, Twitter, Album 'I Wasn't Talking', and Podcast 'Positive Anger' 

http://apple.co/1XJ7raY

 

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Don Buchwald And Associates: 

New York Office

Conan Smith: (212) 867-1200

 

Thanksgiving's and Sale days.

A lot of people in America have asked me if Canada does Thanksgiving. Sure. Do we do it in November? Nope. It's the second Monday of October. How come? Because in 1957, the Parliament of Canada decided we should have a celebration for our harvest. And they decided that it would be in October. Yep. That's it. It's not because we're celebrating the day that Canadians killed aboriginal people. Which happened but not like that. The British came over to Canada, killed the people that lived there, and then that country became Canada. So, instead of celebrating that, Thanksgiving in Canada was just a decided day. 

"Hey, in America they have a day where they celebrate the killing of people."

"Hmmm. They take the whole day off?"

"Yep."

"Huh. We need a day like that. How about we celebrate the killing of crops that we harvest?"

"Well, little softer, but I like it. What will we call it?"

"What are you talking about? Thanksgiving. They have it, and it's working. So, Thanksgiving."

"What about Harvest Day? Or Holi-Tober?"

"... Do you hear yourself?"

And is Canadian Thanksgiving celebrated the same? Yes. Turkey, gravy, stuffing. All of it. It's the same day. Except in America it's a lot more important of a Holiday. In Canada it's not as huge. Take it this way, in Canada families have Thanksgiving dinner on the Sunday Or Monday. The actual Holiday is Monday, but people might celebrate it on Sunday. That's how serious it is. 

"Holiday is tomorrow."

"Cool. Want to do it today? I'm hungry now."

"Sure. Let me get my sweatpants on."

You can celebrate Canadian Thanksgiving any day that weekend if you want. Can't really do that with other Holidays. 

"Alright. It's Christmas eve, kids. Christmas tomorrow. But look, screw that. I don't want to do it then. Let's get this thing over with."

"But Dad! Santa hasn't come yet!"

"You kidding me? Santa picked this stuff up in November. Alright, I'll open them. Here you go, Chris. A sweater."

"AHHHHhhhhh!"

"Stop crying. You know there are kids on this planet who don't even HAVE parents opening their gifts and throwing them at them. Now enjoy!"

One big difference between the two holidays is that in America Thanksgiving is right before the big sale day. Black Friday. In Canada, Thanksgiving is not tied to our big sale day. We have Boxing day, our big sale day, the day after Christmas. Good and bad to both. With Black Friday, all of your Christmas gifts you get were probably on sale. Someone probably was punched in the face for you to have that Blu Ray collection. 

"Merry Christmas!"

"Thanks!... Um, there's blood on this."

"Oh, yeah. Some idiot reached for it when I did, so Judo kicked him through a display case. He landed on some glass ornaments, and blood must have flew through the air and landed on your gift. I was too busy running from the fire someone started in mobile audio to notice. Anyway, Merry Christmas!"

Since Boxing Day in Canada is the day after Christmas, you get to see the gift you bought someone for Christmas, is a hundred dollars less the very next day.

"Are you kidding me? They don't think I need that hundred bucks? Why don't we just make Christmas Dec 27th? I mean for god sakes."

For years there have been stories about people being trampled on Black Friday. Boxing Day? Not really the same. I don't remember seeing tons of stories of Canadians stomping on each other at Zellers to get forty dollars off of a bike. I'm not sure why. Maybe one reason is because it's Canada. I think one reason is that Black Friday is before Christmas. People NEED these gifts. You NEED these discounts for the upcoming Holiday. With the thought of having nothing under the tree, and that old woman in front of you, that old woman has to go. Since Boxing Day is after Christmas, it's a little more casual. I used to work in the home theatre department of a Future Shop, which is owned by Best Buy, same thing really, and I worked a Boxing Day. Getting there at five in the morning, blizzard out, people had been shovelling their own path out to stand in, and one guy had hot chocolate he was handing to people. HANDING it out. Not throwing it in peoples faces. Black Friday? Who knows.

"Hey, man. That's pretty nice of you. Bringing hot chocolate for everyone in this line. That's just great. I'll have half a ..... AAAAAHHHHH! Right in my face! Why?!"

"I need that Lego set! Third degree burn bandit strikes again!"

Twitter @nathanmacintosh

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