Nathan Macintosh

Welcome to the website for comedian Nathan Macintosh! 

You can find show dates, Videos, Blog, Instagram, Twitter, Album 'I Wasn't Talking', and Podcast 'Positive Anger' 

http://apple.co/1XJ7raY

 

For bookings contact:

Buchwald And Associates: 

New York Office

Conan Smith: (212) 867-1200

 

Take out your phone.

I'm not a fan of videos of people being hurt, or falling down, or being kicked, or in fights, or whatever. I don't like when people try to show them to me. I do not understand why people feel the need to take out their phone and record every time there's a car crash, gas explosion, fire, skateboard accident, drunk fight, domestic dispute, dog being cooked in car, acid thrown, crucifixion, cat fight, real cat fight, baby mauling, highway collapse, failed stunt, hockey dad fight, referee argument, kid telling a mom to fuck off, mom telling a kid to fuck off, fat guy at a baseball game, mauling by tiger or bus fight. What makes people INSTANTLY go for their phone?

"Holy hell! Look at that! I'm about to be eaten by a bear! iPhone video don't fail me now. Gotta get this for my wall! Ahhhhh, I'm being eaten! Ahhhhh, my phone is working! Yessss! Ahhhh!"

Why is that the first reaction? Why is it never to help the people who are the fighting? The guy being kicked in the head? The baby that fell onto the subway tracks? And if you're not going to do that, just walk away. Just walk the hell away. Either help, or just turn your back. The third option of taking out the phone and recording is strange. 

"Look at that. Woman fell down a flight of stairs. My phone has thirty two gigs on it, I'm only using nine, time to add a couple more to it. Keep holding your knee, woman! I'm taping!"

Why the video? You have to pretend to be a journalist on call that just stumbled across a story? 

"Good thing I was here! Who was gonna tape this cyclist crashing in a dumpster? I don't see Anderson Cooper anywhere. It's up to me. The journalist to end them all, Mark."

Instantly going to your phone to take a video of something you see is weird. Another thing? Taking pictures of strangers and making fun of them. Maaaaaaaaaaann.

"Hey. I took a picture of this stranger who was doing nothing on this bus. Why? I think what they are wearing is stupid. Or what they are reading. Or how they are sitting. Or that they are sleeping. Or that they have weird hair. Or that they are old. Or that they are strange. Either way, look at me. I'm cool and great because I point out what's 'wrong' with other people. Like me because I am making fun of others."

Taking pictures of people you don't know and making fun of them makes you, yes you, a human piece of garbage. Pretty simple. 

I think people do the videos and pictures to be cool. If you can make fun of someone else, you are higher to some degree than they are. You have elevated yourself above. But another reason I think, is that we panic that we don't have enough stuff to show people on-line. Gotta have things to post on-line, or you are pretty much dead. And if you don't have thoughts or opinions, what else is there? Somebody with cheese on their shirt sitting on a bench? Perfect! A guy kicking his car because he locked his keys in it? Hurrah! 

"I NEED things to post, but I don't have any thoughts on anything that other people don't already have thoughts on! I think the Beatles are the best band. Kanye sucks. Big asses are good. I mean what else is there? NObody has seen this idiot yet. On-line you go, dumb hat!"

It's either that, or you just want the video. And if that's what it's for,  you're gonna watch that video again of a couple arguing in the street? Are you a murderer? Why in the hell would you have that? Why would you EVER go back and watch that video? Answer is, you won't. You wouldn't. You just have it because the natural reaction is to trap the moment on a phone. 

One thing that makes me mad about it is that the same people that say we're all the same, we're all equal, are also the same people who will send these videos and photos around.

"We're all the same. We're all equal. Everyone should be treated fair. Yo, you see this video of a mom falling down a flight of stairs holding her kids? So funny!"

If we're all equal, that's everyone! Those are people who are drunk and fighting. Those are people who crash their bike into a McDonald's truck. That is everyone. We are all everyone. For some reason it is alright to tape people you don't know. We've made it not right over the last bunch of years to yell at women in the street you don't know. Cat calling has become a bad thing. Well, always was but now it's at least pretty looked down upon. But, if that woman is hit by a bird, you can tape it? Can't tape a woman walking down the street. CAN tape a woman falling down a street and show it to the world. Interesting. 

When did the whole world become America's Funniest Home Videos? EVERYONE has a video of a wedding disaster or a bike fail to show you. EVERY show on daytime television has a section where they watch some video of some person doing something stupid, or falling, or getting into a fight, or saying something dumb. Just about every single one. 

"Alright, today Michelle Obama is going to be joining us. But before that, here's a video of a woman getting her head caught in a drive thru window. We don't have ten thousand dollars to hand out, but we will still laugh at this!"

How the hell did that happen? Was America's Funniest Home Videos the most ground breaking show of all time? There are so many great things in the world. Every once in awhile someone will show you a video of something good. An animal doing something. Somebody dancing or playing an instrument crazy well. Those are few and far between, and between, there's a picture of a human being just being a human being on a bus. 

Twitter @nathanmacintosh

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