Nathan Macintosh

Welcome to the website for comedian Nathan Macintosh! 

You can find show dates, Videos, Blog, Instagram, Twitter, Album 'I Wasn't Talking', and Podcast 'Positive Anger' 

http://apple.co/1XJ7raY

 

For bookings contact:

Don Buchwald And Associates: 

New York Office

Conan Smith: (212) 867-1200

 

Men's clothing sections. Grey all day.

Now, look, this is dumb. Yes, I know this. It's not the biggest problem in the world. This is barely a thing to even yell about. Bigger problems in the world? Yes. But still, for god sake, can we change up clothing stores a bit? Is there anyway these things could become different so that every gender of human can find some thing that they would like? Can we have these places be a bit more fair? 

"I am a man. I would like clothes."

"We have two."

"Two sections?"

"No. Two options. Here they are. Interested?"

Women want to be represented in movies and TV. Cool. All for it. I get the same feeling any time I go shopping. The entire store is full of women's stuff. ALL of it. There are clothes hanging from the ceiling. There are three floors, and every one of them has womens' clothes. All of them.

"Hey, where are the children's stuff?"

"Second floor. Beside the women's stuff."

"Cool. And Men's?"

"First floor. Beside the women's stuff."

"And women's?"

"You're standing in it, and first floor, third floor, and we keep some things out on the street."

Can men's clothes be found? Sure. But what is there? A couple of shirts. A couple pairs of pants. In the corner. Just stuck in a corner. It's almost as if the men's stuff is just there to keep a man's attention while his girlfriend/wife is shopping. The men's sections in stores are like the day care in an office building. Just some busy time so that mom and dad, or wife girlfriend doesn't have to be bothered with you and can get their stuff done. 

"Okay, so mama's gonna shop for a minute. You'll be okay here spinning in a circle looking at this one pair of shorts?"

"Ga ga ga, goo goo goo."

"Ahhhh. Here's some Gushers. I'll be back in an hour. Just keep spinning!"

There also could be some more options. Women's sections are just full of different things, with different colours of each thing. Men's sections do not have a lot, and what they do have, is what they have. Sweater? It's the colour it is. Or, they'll be a black, grey, navy, brown. Slow down, world! You wouldn't want to put a colour on a man! Just brown, grey, black, navy. No colours. Women's section has colours on colours on colours. 

"It's like a rainbow! There's some many options!"

Most men's sections look like No Hearts closet. Actually, No Heart had some purple in his robe. Most men's sections look like No Heart castle. 

"Hey, I'm looking for pants?"

"Sure. Just cross that draw bridge, climb the dark steps of that stormy castle and you'll find what you're looking for."

"Jesus! Are these crows going to squawk at me the whole time?"

"Well, yes. You're entering their lair."

"Do you have some clothes that are not up there?"

"You're speaking of women's clothes. Men's clothes are kept in the castle, in the crypt in the castle, or in the cemetery behind the castle. And two of those three places right now are being used as overstock for women's clothes."

Twitter @nathanmacintosh

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