Everything fun is stupid.
I'm one of the first to comment on rap music. I'll be one of the first to say that it's stupid, but that doesn't mean that it's bad. People say they hate rap music now because it's stupid. Sure. A lot of it is stupid. That guy just rhymed pizza with couch. Nobody can say that's smart.
"Does anyone have an answer for the question on the board?"
"Pizza couch!"
"... Who founded America?... Pizza couch. Not correct by any stretch but hey, made me feel good!"
I get it. It's dumb. But it's fun. What's the alternative? Only lyrics? Just solid lyrical ability? I mean there's a lot of pop music that is trash. That hasn't always been the case. What if we just make all music classical?
"You got a ten dollar bill put your hand up! You got a twenty dollar bill put your hand up! If you got a powered wig on put your hang up! Alright, all the gentleman in the place, if you're ready to hear Bach, make some nooooiiissseeeee!"
Yes, a lot of rap is stupid. But everything that is fun is stupid. Don't believe me? Here's some things. That are stupid.
Roller coasters - What a stupid thing to do to yourself. Roller coasters go upwards of 90mph, twisting and turning on metal, or WOODEN track. Sometimes your legs are dangling and swinging through the air. You could possibly lose on. It's happened. Or be thrown from this thing and land in the parking lot. MAYBE that didn't happen, but similar things have happened. Is that dumb? Yes! Is it fun? Yes! Fun as hell! Nobody complains about roller coasters being stupid, though. Nobody says, 'Man, this is dumb. Not one lyrical thing on this at all. I didn't hear ONE line about how the illuminati is FOR SURE a thing. Back to Nas for me."
Un protected sex - I mean, is anything more fun? Having sex with a human being with nothing blocking you and their business? What a great thing. Who wants to put a bag on their junk? Who wants to have a junk that's in a bag be inserted into their business? Well, people, but only because we should. It's good for us to do. But man, not doing it? THAT'S some fun. But how stupid is it? Almost the most stupid. You can get a disease, you can get a kid. You could have a diseased kid with some animal who you barely know. All of that, and we still have un protected sex. Why? Fun! Fun, dammit! And because sometimes you just can't get to a condom, and we're animals, it happens. Does that make it smart? Never. But nobody says anything about this. Nobody says, 'Man, this is dumb. I put my un covered penis into an uncovered woman, and I didn't hear ONE lyric about how hard it is growing up poor. Not ONE. Well, back to Nas for me."
Drinking - I mean, seriously. Does this even need to be talked about? Drinking is a very stupid thing. People fight because of alcohol, they crash cars, have un-protected sex (see above), and say things they don't mean. People climb stupid things and fall off while drinking. People call people they should not call while drinking. But nobody ever talks about this being dumb. Nobody ever is drunk, gets a call from a drunk person and says, 'Man, this is DUMB. You haven't said ONE real thing about how the government treats us. NOT....ONE. You just keep saying we should get back together. Say ONE line about Republicans and maybe.... No? Well, back to Nas for me." (Hangs up. Pauses. Throws up. Pauses. Passes out.)
There's a whole bunch of other fun things that are dumb. Cliff diving, white water rafting, rock climbing, racing in your car, donuts in your car, driving through mud in your car, wrestling, watching wrestling, going to wrestling, watching wrestling in your car. A ton of things. Point is, they're all fun. And fun is stupid.
Twitter @nathanmacintosh