Fred Phelps died.

This week, Fred Phelps, the head of the Westboro Baptist church passed away. What is the reaction? Everyone on twitter starts making snarky, gross tweets about how great that is. Such a glorious day when a man who got a family of people to make awful comments and signs about others can get a taste of his own medicine when he passes away. 'God Hates Phelps', 'Fags Killed Fred', or whatever else people want to post. Take that, Fred. Suck it, you old fag hater! Even though I understand people rejoicing in the fact that he's gone, what I don't fully understand is how hating a man who hated others stops or helps hate?

When people who Fred and his family thought were terrible died, they laughed, joked about it on-line and made gross signs to show the world. When a member of their family dies,we have decided to take some of those same tactics and send them their way. Laugh about it, joke on twitter and Facebook. Trying to come up with the snarkiest response we possibly can.
"Oh, Fred Phelps died? Here's a hilarious statement about that!"
Is it that funny? What are you putting into the earth here? Negative comments about a negative commenter? What does that prove?

This is not defending him or the Westboro baptist church, either. Not at all. What they believe and have said and done are really terrible, hateful things. It's interesting to me though that we solely see 'evil' people. There are documented cases of family members from that church breaking out, and starting their lives again. Changing the way that they think, act and live. Everything in that family was taught. They were not born believing what they do. The were systematically built to hate. It's interesting that when we don't like what someone says. we write them off as evil and broken. No way Fred didn't have some of this junk pumped into him as a kid. Interesting that there's no thought on our side to help these people. And we're supposed to be the loving, caring, excepting side. But when you do not think like us, well then your death is hilarious.

What I mean is that there are basically two sides here. Their side, the Westboro church side, and our side. Our side being any one who doesn't believe in what they do. Which, is a MUCH higher number of people. Their camp probably has one hundred people? Our side likes gay people, wants everyone to get along, and doesn't believe in hate. But, WE are in the right for using their tactics because we have more people on our side? If they had more followers, would what they do be okay?

"God Hates Fags? That's terrible."

"I thought so too, man, until I saw that they have millions of subscribers to their newsletter."

"Woa, millions? Huh. Yeah, god MUST hate fags! So many people believe it!"

Laughing at his death is the exact same thing as him laughing at other peoples deaths. Except that we think we are right for doing it, and he and his family thought they were right for doing it. That is really the only difference. We believe they're wrong, and they really believe that we are. 

These people have gone wrong. They have been lead astray in a gross fashion. Isn't there any sympathy for that? If you are born into this life, behind a wall and with people who 'love' you around you telling you that god hates this and that, how would you turn out? You'd be a hero? You'd be able to stand up at ten and go, 'this is not right. You are all saying ridiculous things.' No.
And yes, the leader of this thing has passed away. But someone did this to him. This has been passed down for years. And is the curse broken now? Are the rest of the church going to wake up like pod people?
"Oh, wow. What the hell am I doing? Making a sign that says god hates fags? Why the hell am I doing this!? Last thing I remember was heading to school. I'll go back to that."

It will be nice one day when we can wish or hope for sick people who don't believe in the advancement of humanity can find the error in their ways instead of gloating, making jokes, and celebrating when they die. I just don't understand how hate beats hate. It makes us feel better in the short term, but long term there's got to be a better way. We are all held back when we hold onto anger and resentment for others. Also, it's way to easy to make jokes about people ESPECIALLY when you're saying the same things that they already said back to them.

Banning Words.

Currently there is a campaign to 'Ban Bossy'. To ban the word bossy from existence because of it's effect on women in the work place. I do not have an aversion to this campaign because I have any problem with women, or feminism, or to people being marginalized. I have an aversion to the banning of words.

What I'm not clear on is why the move is to ban the word. A word hurts you, so we get rid of it? Why not move to have people be stronger? Can't we teach people to be tougher?
"That word hurts."
"Okay. It's gone. What have you learned?"
"... That... bad things... are always going to go away?"
As we al know, bad things will not go away. Bad or negative things are going to be out there and have to be fought all the time. Have to be avoided all the time. They will NOT just go away because you don't like them.
"Give me your money!"
"I ban you! I ban you to hell!"
".... Sure. Give me your money still."

Years ago teachers would tell kids that words don't hurt. Taught kids to not let them bother them. Remember 'Sticks and stones can break my bones but names can never hurt me?" What are we changing that to? "Sticks and stones may break my bones but if you call me a name I'll get a bunch of celebrities together to ban it out of existence forever!"
And 'bossy'? Out of all the things that women can be called. Bitch is a bad one. How about cunt! That ain't banned. You can't really say it, but it's a bad thing to call someone. Have they not tried to ban that because it's SUCH a bad word? That campaign would be weird.
"Hi. I'm Beyonce. And you know, I never liked being called a cunt. All day on twitter. 'You're a dumb cunt!' 'Go dance, cunt!' 'What did you do to the rest of the cunts from Destiny Child, cunt!' It's just too much. So, I would like this word banned. Let's 'Run-t Cunt' out of town."

I understand the meaning behind it. People call women bossy who have positions of power or want them, or are trying to get them. So some women hear that if they are in charge, the will be labeled bossy, and therefore are discouraged. But banning words is scary. And, it's not 'men' who call women bossy. It is 'idiots' who do. Idiots are saying these things. Idiots are the ones that say 'that's gay', idiots are the ones that are racist. Idiots are the ones that tell women to get back in the kitchen. If idiots say something, and we say it should be banned, are we not in some weird way giving power to idiots? We're saying that what they say is so strong, it shouldn't even be admissible in court. If you don't pay attention, take no heed, they have no power.

It is strange that there is a campaign to ban a word, while there could be a campaign with these strong, powerful women about being strong, powerful women. Instead of that, they ban a word.
"I'm Condoleezza Rice. I was called 'bossy' on my journey to where I am. I'm here to say, you will be called that as well, but DO NOT let it bother you. The people who are saying are afraid of you and the power that you have. Teach them that they should be by not paying attention to what they say about you."
Couldn't that be a bit more of what this campaign is? Banning words doesn't help other words from being said. Or different words that have the exact same affect. Teaching people to rise above the words and terms that could be thrown their way.

There is no way that they did not deal with criticism on the way up. Did they want those words banned then? Or those connotations? No. They fought past them. Now that they are on top, they want to tell other people to do it differently? It's strange.
"Ban these words that affected me on my rise."
"But you didn't ban them before?"
"No, you're right. I fought past them. I realized that I was stronger than them and forged ahead. But should other people be as strong as me? No. Because it's hard. Ban the word."

I am called a 'ginger' on a fairly regular basis. Few times a month somebody will say it in some way. I don't like it. Do I want it banned? No. I don't like being called it, but it's still here. People who call me that are not talking to me like a human being. They are talking to a 'ginger' in their eyes. Even though I don't like it, I would not ever want to ban it. You can't ban stupid. It's out there. Look out!

Twitter @nathanmacintosh

Alec Baldwin quits public life!

And it's our fault. We pushed him away. We have pushed away a ridiculously talented and funny man. Why? Because we NEED to see what he is up to at all hours. We need to see every move he makes. And we're never just happy with them 'walking' or 'eating', we like the explosions. This man has exploded, people watched, so now people keep trying to get him to explode. And he's out. Hope you like Stephen or Daniel Baldwin because that's what we've got now. Not to make fun of those guys, just saying.

Some celebrities would like to have somewhat of a normal life. We act as if celebrities are pieces of garbage for that.

"They're famous! They asked for people to take pictures of their children! They have decided to be picked on by people they'll never meet!"

I remember people in school who got picked on all the time would CHANGE SCHOOLS. That's the regular person equivalent of checking out of the spotlight. Everyone in this particular place hates you, goads you into things, talks about you constantly. So you go to another place where that may not happen. Where people don't think you're a 'stupid head' or whatever they have chosen to call you.

People think Alec is an animal for attacking cameramen. I think that MORE CELEBRITIES SHOULD PUNCH CAMERAMEN. Why are these cameramen thought of as sacred cows? Why do we get so upset when they are punched?

"He hit a cameraman! How could he do that!? That's a damn CAMERAMAN! That's like hitting a kid! Or a tree! Or the kid of a tree!"

We don't like people looking at us on the train. If someone followed you around all the time, RIGHT IN YOUR FACE, pushing past you, trying to catch you doing something, wouldn't you at some point take a swing at this person? No? THEY'RE in the right? Remember in school when people would do this? When someone would pick on someone until they fought back, and then the person doing the picking on would go to the teacher, 'So-and-so hit me!' Remember there was a time when the teacher would ask, 'Well, what did YOU do? Who started it?' Now there's none of that. Who cares who started it, right? He hit a goddamn cameraman! One of the most beautiful professions we have on this planet! The most sacred of human beings! A CAMERAMAN! It's like hitting Mother Teresa, but with a camera!

One reason it's ridiculous is that NO ONE CARES AT ALL if a celebrity is hit. If a cameraman grabbed Dame Judy Dench and shook the hell out of her, the video footage of it would go viral. There would be a slow-mo version, a dance version, an auto version. Tons of comments underneath.

"Hahah. That old bag got SHOOK!"

"That bitch's head looked like it was about to fall off!"

"President Obama is black and therefore I don't like him."

Some things stay constant.

If being a celebrity means that people will follow you around, get in your face and not leave you alone, people have to understand that being a person who follows, annoys and goads celebrities ALSO COMES WITH SOME STIPULATIONS. You could get KNOCKED OUT! You could get swore at or told off. Why? Why are you above that? WHY! Because you get PAID to take pictures? EVERYONE IS TAKING PICTURES! You are not a hero. These celebrities aren't punching kids. Or screaming at the elderly in the street. They are yelling at people who DESERVE TO BE YELLED AT.

People get REALLY hung up on the fact that Alec Baldwin may or may not have called someone a 'cocksucking fag.' Are we serious? Let's throw everyone away who has ever said that. Do you know who you're tossing away into the pit of shame? JUST ABOUT EVERYONE! Your grandmother, that guy over there, ANY MAN UNDER THE AGE OF 30 WHO WENT TO SCHOOL IN THE 90'S, ANY MAN UNDER THE AGE OF 40 WHO WENT TO SCHOOL IN THE 80'S. Cops, politicians. MY MOM! She may not have said 'cocksucking fag', but 'cocksucker?' Oh yeah. We were poor. That got said. SO MANY PEOPLE have said these things! Should ALL these people go to hell? Even people who would be offended by it have used it in an offensive way! Is it offensive? Sure. Was it ALWAYS taken so literally? Nope. Most of these things are just bad words, that people say in anger. The only thing behind it is, 'I'm angry, so swearing is going to take place.' Is fellatio-giving homosexual better? Hard to find that in a fit of rage.

And we're hanging onto the fact he called someone a 'toxic little queen'? Jesus, man. There is probably a script RIGHT NOW on a Disney executive's desk that describes an evil person in it the same way.

"I WANT to like this story. I do, but you described the villain as a 'toxic little queen?"

"Yes. She's a queen, who has a toxic attitude and demeanour. Surrounds herself with negativity."

"So you hate gay people."

"What?"

"Queen means gay. Always. Even if you're talking about Queen Elizabeth. You've just said 'Gay Elizabeth', which is offensive. Take this script down to Happy Madison where I'm SURE they'll find a home for it."

We REALLY want celebrities to mess up. REALLY BAD. It's so great when they do! People were just about to take a picture of their bagel and post it online, and then a celebrity called a dolphin a fish. Thank Jesus! Now you have something to talk about! Everyone knows you can't call a dolphin a fish. It ain't a goddamn fish! 

"Alright, I'll post this picture o... Woa! Kanye said what?! You'll have to wait until tomorrow, picture of pancakes with syrup on them, right now I've got to tear someone apart!"

We love to say that people have shown their true colours. There's no 'true colours' for good things. People only say it when it comes to negative stuff. 

"Tom has punched kids, spit at women, but he just donated a bunch of money to charity and hugged every amputee on the planet. Finally showed his true colours."

If today, Muhammad Ali kicked an animal, people would say he's showing his true colours. Forget all the things he's done. All the good in this world. He kicked a dog. That's it. When he died, that's all people would tweet.

"Yeah, he was the greatest. GREATEST DOG KICKER! #Fuckem."

"Float like a butterfly, kick a dog like a bee! #Alwaysknewhewasdirt"

"Parkinson’s is karma for kicking that dog! #karma #dogsaregreat #burninhell."

It's ridiculous. Because you do a bad thing or say a bad thing, that doesn't inherently make you a bad person. We have all done, and said bad things that we regret.

We don't want celebrities to complain. Once they say anything, it's 'Yeah, but go to hell. You're a MILLIONAIRE. You can't complain ever. Never! Everything that happens to you is evened out by the fact that you can buy a Maserati, drive it down the street and have us take pictures of it and throw things at it. Oh, someone threw a milkshake at it? Get it cleaned, millionaire."

Celebrities are people and people can complain. Should we all the time? No. Are a lot of our complaints unwarranted and babyish? Sure. But we are allowed them. Alec Baldwin's article is posted below. 

twitter @nathanmacintosh

http://www.vulture.com/2014/02/alec-baldwin-good-bye-public-life.html