Rick Ross.

Look, this does not matter. We decided years ago that it wasn't important or useful information at all that a man who was once a correctional officer started rapping and telling the world that he was a drug kingpin. He sold drugs from the port of Miami. He would murder you and yours if you tried to stop him, and, at times, he barely rapped well about it. We decided at the time that this came out that we didn't care. That his beats were still sick, that when he did rap well it was cool, and who cares if he used to literally work with and in a system that he raps about being against. It's a crazy interesting story.

Chris Rock made a movie about this EXACT THING years ago. Early 90's, the movie CB4 was this exact story. A criminal with a crazy rap sheet goes to jail, and a group of rappers start rapping his story and become huge. The only difference in the movie really is that the rappers were not working for a prison. They were just kids. This was a movie, and it basically happened. It must have been some of the thought behind Rozay turning to rap. 

'Hey, they did it in that movie I saw once. I'm in!'

Now, the part that I do appreciate, is the wrestling aspect of the whole thing. Rap is full of people making up stories for our benefit. They tell us they have money and women, cars and guns, because it entertains us. We listen and love it. SOME people won't do that or like it, but by and large, people like to be entertained by the thought of a person doing all this stuff. The idea that an officer would go 'wait a minute. I could keep watching these criminals, put my life at risk, OR, rap about BEING a criminal, make a BAJILLION dollars and live WAY better than I can in this system. I'm in!' That aspect of it, it's great. People want to be entertained, entertain em! Make money! Nobody gets hurt! 

Except for the fact that he's not making up a story. He has completely TAKEN a story from an ACTUAL drug kingpin. A REAL human being who almost spent his entire life in prison doing the things that this other man is rapping about. And the reason that is nuts, is that you can be rewarded for SAYING THAT YOU DO ILLEGAL THINGS but you go STRAIGHT to a maximum security prison for actually doing them. That's crazy! That part of it is hard to fully understand. 

'You are going away for life.'

'Look, I know I sold drugs, but just about every rapper is saying it's cool to sell drugs. That have mansions and money from doing exactly what I did. I'm going to jail because you heard me on the phone say I'm going to push that dope. There is a song called Push That Dope! No jail time for that?"

"Different thing. They did it to a beat. SICK beat. You had no beat. Life in prison.'

Like, you can GO TO JAIL for talking about drugs over a phone. If someone is recording you talking about selling co-ca-een, you could be TOAST. But, if you rhyme it, if you put a beat to it, you could make enough money to buy a sports team. It's. Just. Incredible. 

This has been talked about for years, and forgotten about for years, But the actual Rick Ross, does not have millions of dollars now. What he did was never cool with society. What he did didn't make him a tourable act who has kids buying everything he says. But what he did, is what the other man is SAYING he did, and it's cool. Not only cool, we cheer it on. But the real Rick Ross, and others like him, we want thrown in jail, forgotten about by time and lost in a pit of hell. 'How can you sell drugs? That's insane. Don't you know that it destroys communities? Don't you know that KIDS could be doing drugs? For shame. Ohhhh, THANK you, Rozay. Rapping about drugs. Great. That's great. Gives kids something to look towards. Be a hero and a millionaire like you for talking about it. My kid loves you. Hell, I love you! That one song, with the beat and the drug hook? SIIIIIICCCKK. Thanks for turning the real Rick Ross's story into something positive. It's great to see. You're a pioneer.'

Is it not a little strange that you go to jail for selling drugs but you are paid ROYALLY for rapping that you sell them? Yes, selling drugs in illegal. Rapping about doing it isn't. But, isn't that just weird? Isn't it a strange thing that we are supposed to love the people who tell us to sell drugs but bury the people who do under concrete? It's just... strange. One is a hero. The other is a villain. One is an amazing look at what is possible in America. The other is an amazing look at reality. 

Best part is, if the Real Rick Ross could rap, people wouldn't like it. If he guy could rap, people would STILL not like him as much, because he'd be saying that he USED to sell drugs. 

'Wait a minute. This beat is sick, this guy can flow, but did he say that he wishes he had never started pushing drugs? Wishes that he didn't move weight? Turn this shit off! Yes! There we go! A guy who's never sold drugs rapping about moving TONS of it! Thank you, DJ! Thank YOOOOOUUUUU!'

Again, this doesn't matter. It's just interesting. Don't sell drugs. You could go to jail. But glorify drugs to a beat, so that maybe other people will sell them, and you sir, are the best.  Rick Ross and Hacksaw Jim Duggan are the same in that they both showed us that their business's were not as real as we had thought before. Duggan's story was his at least. 

Twitter @nathanmacintosh 

2 Chainz and Nancy Grace tag team.

Nancy Grace and 2Chainz talked about legalizing weed. And the winner was? A hit count on YouTube. Neither of these people are in any kind of control over whether or not weed gets legalized. Nancy Grace and 2Chainz talking legalizing weed is like a couple of aunts talking about what the States should do with their soldiers.

'I'll tell you what they should do. Pull the goddamn troops out! And fix everything they destroyed over there!'

"Guys. Your both covered in powdered donuts. They're not coming to you.'

They have no control over the outcome. Either way, Grace and Chainz talked it out. 

People say that 2Chainz held his own in this interview. Of course he did. He's a smart guy. That's not some kind of incredible thing that he can sit down like a human being and talk about a topic. He is smart. Went to college, got good grades. So smart in fact, that he has made a career off of pretending to be stupid. His whole thing to pretend to be this barely can rap, talk about stupidness dude. So people hear and see that, and think, 'that guy is an idiot!' He's not. He knows exactly what is happening. 

And held his own against who? Nancy Grace? People look to Nancy Grace as some sort of intellectual hero? 

'Hey, do you know how far away the stars are from earth?'

"I haven't got a goddamn clue. But I know who does. The one woman on this planet who is smarter and better than just about everyone out here. The one, the only, TV's own, strange mouthed, angry haired, Nancy Grace.'

In this video she's wearing Diddy's jacket from '98, and it's hard to hold his own in this interview? Against a woman talking dumb and looking like Mase?

Weed has to be one of the easiest things to buy drug wise. In America, you ned ID to get cough medicine in a drug store. Cough medicine.

"Hey. Just this 'sniff' Nyquil."

"Do you have ID?"

"For Nyquil? I'm coughing and sneezing. Is that enough ID?"

For weed, there's probably some of it in your couch right now. Other than not locking people up for having weed, legalize it for what? People get it pretty easily. There's no WAY that people who do drugs, if that is their sole offence, should be going to jail. Doesn't make any sense. For that part, sure, legalize it. But for getting it and smoking it, it's pretty legal. You can't smoke it at a NBA game, sure, but you also can't drink out of a glass bottle there either. 

It's such a stupid argument as is. Hard to believe that in 2015 people are still talking about whether this should be legalized. Jesus Christ. There's stronger drugs pumped into the food we eat. 

'Should weed be legalized? Think about the harm done to people!"

'I just took a bite of this burrito from 7/Eleven, and I tested positive for steroids. My nuts shrank. That's not worse?"

Alcohol must just be ECSTATIC when this argument comes around every two weeks. People yelling at each other about a stupid plant while alcohol is throwing people off of highways and starting COUNTless fights at terrible bars all over the world. 

'Man, I thought today was gonna be the day that people started talking about how in the hell I'm still legal when I'm causing more domestic disputes than home wreckers, but BAM! These idiots are back to weed! WEED! I'm sold in grocery stores, and JUST made some fall onto a train track, and they're yelling about weed! Whew. I live another day.'

It doesn't make any kind of sense as an argument at all. But, we still have it. And now, Nancy Grace and 2Chainz, get to the bottom of it, in a segment that should and could have easily been a sketch on SNL. 

Twitter @nathanmacintosh