'Mamava' - Breast Feeding In Peace

There are a lot of frustrating things happening in the airport. Kids crying. Boarding passes being checked thousands of times. Some psycho late for a flight who STILL needs to buy a danish from Auntie M’s then argue with the gate agent when the gate has been locked with crumbs in their mouth ‘but it’s right there! The plane is RIGHT THERE!’ But this is the FIRST TIME, I saw this.

A trailer for mothers that allows for ‘breastfeeding and pumping in peace’. This mobile home that was brought inside is for mothers, to BREAST FEED in peace. This tool shed found in backyards hidden in by sad dads who ‘tinker with nuts and bolts’ while they’re actually ‘thinking about their entire life and the wrong turns they’ve made’, has been brought INSIDE so that moms can PEACEFULLY feed their babies.

Now of course, there would be a lot of mothers who love this, and that’s fine. Own space. Privacy. Makes sense. Some of that would come from mothers not WANTING to have to sit in a chair openly because SOMEONE might glare at them like like they’re microwaving a bowl of cereal. But some would be excited about this, because there are some complete criminals who have a problem with how babies feed. Oddly repressed psychos who instead of dealing with their own feelings have to make a face or a comment because ‘ugh! A tit! And a baby attached to it! Not in my town, buddy!’ So this milking RV would make them comfortable. There have been many articles and think pieces over the years about women breast feeding in public.

‘Should It Be Done?’

‘Is It Gross?’

‘Why Can’t I Also, If Hungry, Ask This Mother If I Can Suck On The Left One?’

Many people think it’s insane that a woman would breast feed in public. So this bungalow for breasts seems to be trying to hide the fact that babies eat. But, if people can argue that feeding a baby in public is somehow wrong or gross or shouldn’t be done, how are there PLENTY OF OTHER THINGS that people should ONLY be doing in the comfort of a rolling family room that are never talked about? There are MANY other things people do very publicly that should be done incredibly privately.

EATING AN EGG SALAD SANDWICH - Egg and MAYO?! Together again for the never should have happened to begin with? Eggs shouldn’t be eaten in public. If someone had a tablespoon of mayo and was just sucking on it we’d all want them locked up. Why is THIS not a caged option? Why is there not a ‘EggAva’ Caravan where you can ‘Eat This Disgusting Lunch Option In Peace’? If babies only ate egg salad that came from tits, there sure as hell would be.

PEOPLE PICKING THEIR NOSE - THIS HAPPENS WAY TOO MUCH. People, in PUBLIC, with their entire hand in their head. Their ENTIRE HAND is in their face as if they are trying to push the button on their brain that would shut off the need to PICK THEIR NOSE IN PUBLIC. Is THIS not disgusting? Why is there no ‘PickYourNoseAva’ covered gazebo where you can ‘Dig Into Your Skull In Peace’? WHY NOT?! Breast feeding needs to be hidden but this doesn’t? How are people less upset about THIS?! EVERYONE tells their kids not to pick their nose. Anyone tell their kids not to eat?

ARGUING WITH YOUR SPOUSE - Happens daily. People bringing their trash into the street.

‘You were supposed to NOT cheat on me!’

‘Today? You didn’t say today!’

‘It’s everyday!’

‘Okay well NOW I KNOW! FINE. Starting now, I WON’T cheat on you on Tuesdays…’

‘No EVERY DAY! Not just every Tuesday!’

Some how THIS is better than a baby having lunch. SOME magic way it’s more wrong for some to see a woman feeding a baby with her chest but it’s COMPLETELY okay for two people who shouldn’t be together screaming at each other.

‘Man that couple is REALLY going at it. She just called him an asshole and through her phone at him!’

‘At least her boobs aren’t out giving milk to a child! Now let’s go tell these people to speak American!’

Get them a ‘YellAtYourSoonToBeExAva’ closed UFC cage type thing that they can climb into and go at it.

To the mothers that are happy about this thing, great! Happy for you. To the weirdos that are happy about it because ‘I don’t want to see that’, nobody wants to see you wearing sunglasses on the back of your head with boot cut jeans and running shoes tied too tight either. But here we are.