Nathan Macintosh

Album 'To The Point' out now everywhere! 8 Tracks. 21 minutes. Debuted #1 on Canadian iTunes and #12 on American iTunes!

Website for comedian Nathan Macintosh! Seen on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, The Late Show With Stephen Colbert, Conan on TBS and Just For Laughs!

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The term "Hater".

The last few years have really given rise to the popularity of the term hater. Nobody likes haters, and nobody wants to be called a hater. People talk about 'haters' as if they are a group of horrible, twisted, freaky people who live in the woods and eat small animals.
"Oh, no! It's a hater! Shoot it with a silver bullet! SHOOT IT!"
"I can't! If you kill a hater, that's a form of hate, so you BECOME a hater! We have to love it!"
"Love it with the bullets!"
The term hater really makes me upset. One could say that I hate it.

Famous people love to say they have haters, but it's so big now, that everyone thinks they have haters. Not just entertainers and singers, every person on the planet! Look, if you hand out menus to people when they come into your restaurant, you don't have haters.
"Ugh, you see the way she looked at me when I told her the specials? Keep hating, hater. Keep hating."
Nobody wants to take you down, they just want you to put a smile on once in awhile. I used to work at a retail store, and I asked a guy I worked with one day what he was doing.
"Just trying to dodge the haters."
You're folding t-shirts! There is nobody hating on you. Nobody is hiding behind a rack of pants watching what you're doing.
"He calls that a crease? God, I hate this guy! Twitter will hear about this."

People who constantly say that they are being hated on sound delusional. It's the same as saying other non existent things are after you.
"These haters won't leave me alone."
"Oh, yeah. I hear you. I have a similar problem with these zombies. Zombies just won't get off my damn back!"
"Zombies? Zombies don't exist."
"Yes they do. They're right there!"
"Those aren't zombies. Those are haters! The person who gave me coffee. The guy over there in the corner. The person who pumped my gas! These people all hate me! They want to BE me!"
"I hear you! These zombies really want to BITE me! Get off me, zombie! Ya can't touch me, boy!"

Where the hell are all of these magical haters that people talk about? Every rapper, mediocre actor, loser fighter, dirt bag woman beater piece of garbage will call them out when they are interviewed.
"And to all the haters out there, thank you. You help me."
Where are these haters?! These people make it seem as if there is a group of people on an island, sending beams of hate.
"Gather round, hater-nation! We need to put our powers together and take out this person who came out with a sub-par song. Hater-cons-decepti-haters, roll out! To the hater-rade hater-ray!"

All the term hater does, is take away our ability to have opinions. You can't have an opinion anymore! You used to be able to say, "this is trash", and others would say, "I like it", "I agree", or the ever popular, "why?" You used to be able to tell someone,
"I don't like what you do."
And all they could do is say,
"well, I can't win em all."
Now? That's not how it is. You can't have an opinion on anything anymore without being called a hater.
"I don't like this."
"You're just a hater."
"...Well, don't you want to know why I don't like it?"
"You asking me if I want to hear from a hater? Answers no."

Because of this, hater has become the term that untalented people can use if someone tells them what they are doing is no good. It's a scapegoat people can use instead of getting better at anything.
"I really think you need to get better at playing the guitar."
"Oh yeah? You're just a hater!"
"Umm, okay. I don't 'hate' it. I just don't think it's good. For one, you're playing it like a piano."
"Oh, now you're hating on pianos? We got a hater here!"

I'm all for being positive. I'm all for people doing what they want to do, but I can't say that everything is good when I'm asked. I have seen good things! I can't say that Terminator 4 wasn't terrible. I have seen Terminator 1 and 2! And none of this, "it was alright" garbage. There's things to compare it too! Terminator 4 was so bad, it made Terminator 3 look like The Artist. 
"And the award for Best Picture goes to...Terminator 3!"
"I'd like to thank McG for making Terminator Salvation. If he hadn't, my Terminator would have been the worst. Thank you!"

Famous people who say they have haters seem to think that people don't like them because they are successful. If that was the case, people wouldn't like any successful people. Not everyone is going to like everyone. That is just a fact. Not everyone likes Ellen. Ellen! Or Will Smith! Nothing but positive energy, and some people don't like him. By and large though, these people are loved, and are HUGELY successful. People don't not like them because of their success, they don't like them for their face, their attitude, or any other number of reasons. Some people just don't like some people.
But certain people will say, "they are just hating because I'm successful." Nope. Not at all. Floyd Mayweather says this. He is a fantastic boxer, and amazing business man, but there are still plenty of reasons to 'hate' him. He hit his girlfriend, and will not fight a man who he clearly should fight. Also, called him out on twitter? Wow. That's what men do. You know the guy at a club who is screaming, "let's do it! Let's fight!" as he is walking away? Calling a man out on twitter is the virtual equivalent of that. But, he calls people haters, and it's the end of the discussion.

Same as Chris Brown. The ONLY reason that Chris Brown is popular again is because of hater culture. In the past this wouldn't be. The world turned on Milli Vanilli for lip synching. Lip synching! Punching a woman wouldn't have flown.
"No, we didn't do it! It was just lip-punching. Fake, like our singing."
"We know lip-punches when we see them. Get them!"
Today though, you can't say anything about Chris Brown without being called a hater.
"I do not like this guy."
"Stop hating on team breezy."
"I'm not hating, I just think he's trash."
"But he can dance and sing!"
"I understand that, but he beat and bit a woman."
"Yes, and then he danced to show us how upset he was. God, stop hating. Don't you feel for what he went through?"
Also, when people talk about "what he went through", I want to puke. He didn't go through anything! HE HIT HER! We get this, right? She went through something. For him to talk about what he "went through", or for anyone to say that, is a slap in the face of human decency. Do we ask other attackers what THEY went through?
"Man, raped a girl, huh? Must be a lot to go through."
"I know! Jesus. First, people think I'M terrible! You believe that? Me! Ol' Tim "only raped one girl"Andrews. The judge was mean to me. I had to go to jail. You know you don't get your own cell? Not to mention that fact that I had to hold a woman down and take her innocence. You know how hard that is? I hope no one has to go through what I went through."

I'm sure that soon you'll be able to use hater as a defence in court. It has already reached a level between regular people that is higher than facts. One day it'll reach that level in the justice system.
"Your honour, he stole my car. I went into the store, and when I came out, he was driving it away."
"Hmm. Do you have anything to say for yourself, defendant?"
"Do I have anything to say? For sure I do. This guy is a hater!
(shocked gasps from the courtroom)
"That's right! He is hating on me because I'm faster than him AND have the ability to hot wire a car. He should congratulate me for that, not hate."
"Good point. Congratulate, plaintiff! Your car went to a better man. You're a hater. Case dismissed!"

It's always people who are questionable with their actions or talents who say they have haters. I have never heard Jim Carrey talk about haters. Why? He has talent and is pure magic. Also please, call me a hater. I will say, "I don't hate anything. But I do have an opinion."