Nathan Macintosh

Album 'To The Point' out now everywhere! 8 Tracks. 21 minutes. Debuted #1 on Canadian iTunes and #12 on American iTunes!

Website for comedian Nathan Macintosh! Seen on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, The Late Show With Stephen Colbert, Conan on TBS and Just For Laughs!

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Filtering by Category: "writing"

Holding yourself back.

I believe a lot of us are guilty of this. I am. I almost stop myself from writing and putting out these blogs every time. Would it really matter if I did? Yes and no. The world itself wouldn't mind too much. That's not a sad statement, just is. But I would be upset with myself. Because I stopped myself from putting out something that I wanted to put out. I stopped myself from creating something because of what others would think, not think, what's been done before. So on and so on. It would matter to me if I didn't, because it would hurt knowing that I held myself back from doing it for whatever reason.

A lot of people want to create something. A lot do, but even more stop themselves. Why? One reason, fear that it won't be any good. That one doesn't make too much sense, because the thing you're doing probably won't be good right away. That is just a given. It's supposed to be bad. But should you not do it for that reason? No. If everyone did that, we'd have nothing. We probably wouldn't even have chairs.
"I'm thinking of building this thing for people to sit on. I don't know, though. It might not work."
"Yeah. don't even bother."
"You're right. I don't want to make something that breaks. Or worse, something that NO ONE uses. Let's go do nothing ever and not try."
People who create things have doubts about it as well, but they still put in the effort to do it.

Some people stop themselves out of fear about how what they are creating will be perceived. Just put out what you want to put out. At some point I'm sure people told George Lucas that Star Wars sounded like an awful idea. There might have even been a point where it sounded dumb to him.
"What the hell was that thought I just had? A guy with a microwave on his chest is the father of some other wiener? And there's a big ape thing, and some weird robots that have a very strange relationship to each other? Am I going crazy?! People are not gonna want to see this! Well, I'll write it anyway and see what happens."
You just do it. You just start doing it. The people you've created in your head who may or may not like this probably don't exist. Who are they? Who are these people that are waiting for you to create something that they can destroy? You're probably making them up!
"People are going to hate this thing I want to make."
"What people? Where?"
"The people! The people out there! The people that also have doubts about their own lives! They're gonna hate me!"

Seems to be the difference between people who create and people who don't is trying. Just trying and doing. The difference between an author and someone who wants to write a book, is that the author did. That's really it. They started and kept writing. Were the first things they wrote good? Probably not. But they kept doing it, and now they have a book or books. They tried. If you are someone who wants to write books and doesn't, are the people who do some sort of mystic creatures who have a power to churn out a book without thinking about it? Could be true. More realistically they work at it a ton. Either way, no matter how they do what they do, it doesn't mean that you shouldn't do what you want to do.

People also hold themselves back by comparing themselves to others. By looking at what another human has, wanting it, and for some reason thinking that person is either more deserving, or because they have it you can never have it or do it or be it.
"Ah, god. Look. That person has exactly what I want with my life. And they have it NOW. I'll never have it."
"Why not?"
"Um, duh. Because THEY have it. How can TWO people both be video game developers in that company at the same time?"
"They have hundreds of developers."
"Geez, way to make me feel worse!"
It doesn't matter what other people are doing. Other people being successful does not mean that you can't be. Thinking that's true is just holding yourself back.

There are many ways one can hold themselves back. Not thinking they're worthy. Not thinking they are talented/beautiful/smart enough. Whatever the case may be. But you have to fight that.
"I can't do what? Suck me, brain! I'm doing it!"
'Suck me, brain!' is not for everybody. You can come up with your own phrase. May I suggest 'blow me, bud'? Or, 'Yo, go down on me, frontal lobe!'? Whichever one you feel comfortable with. Don't hold yourself back!

A man orders a sandwich. What he received was a blog about those types of articles.

You've seen a headline like this. It's pretty much all Facebook has become. People posting articles with ridiculous, goading titles that make others click on them.
"A woman looks at a snake. What she saw in it's dead eyes made her switch to Geico."
"A man opens his phone bill. What he saw under 'Balance Due' made him rock hard."
These articles are posted everyday, people click, and what happens next, will rock your whole face to your core and back up to your head then off again to the floor.

What usually happens is the article is supposed to see a situation in a different light. Snakes aren't that bad, have human feelings, and can turn you on. You never know what you'll find in the mail. That type of thing. People get sad, or happy, or inspired by the story. They are always supposed to have some kind of point. Some sort of life lesson that you will pick up at the end of the story. You're supposed to click, and change how you look at the world.
"Wow. I always hated opening my phone bill. I mean, it's just more money I have to throw away. But this one made a guy rock hard? From now on, I'll be excited to open them!"

What really happens? Is that someone, somewhere makes money from the ads that are posted on this story. You click on it, someone gets paid. Which is why they are written to get you to open them. It works. If someone comes up to you and is very vague about something, you'd want to know more about the situation.
"Hey, I ordered a rum and coke from this bar. What they gave me opened my mind up to unimaginable things."
(Person walks away)
"Woa. I was going to get a rum and coke. What the hell did he get? Sex on the beach? Tom Collins? DMT? I gotta ask him."

It's not just these types of articles that make us click. There are articles that instantly make people angry, and so they click to read more. "Man kicks ice cream cone into kids face". "Bus driver won't let old woman on the bus". "Second graders thrown off of a cliff because they couldn't find Dakota on a map". People will post these articles and comment underneath to let you know how angry they are.
"'Man strangles dog with live cat.' How the hell could he do that?! This is awful. Do you hear me, cat rope strangler! I hate you! I hope a fifty foot cat chokes YOU!"
An article about a woman who beat her kids with a bike that's on fire will be posted. She lives in Sasquatch, Kentucky or wherever the hell, and we'll get pissed that this woman lit this ten speed on fire and started playing tee ball with her kids. We shouldn't care at all. 

Why do I say we shouldn't care? Because honestly, I don't believe that all of these articles are real. There's no way. Am I an article doctor? No. But there's no way some of these aren't just meant to get you outraged so that you click. Why would there be a news story about a racist letter a woman wrote? I saw an article that was 'Woman writes letter to her neighbour that she should have her autistic son put down". Real thing? I don't believe it. And again, even if it is, the woman's an idiot, who cares? She's not the president. She doesn't have any power. A letter at your door like that is just a written out YouTube comment.
"I would love to post that her autistic son scares the hell out of me and should die, but she doesn't have a video of him online. Wait! People used to write letters when they wanted to comment. To my pen and paper!"

I think a lot of this stuff is wrestling. It's made up to make us angry. Wrestlers do this constantly. Get people riled up to buy pay per views and to buy tickets to live events. Cool. Not a problem. They are selling a show. When writers do it, there is no 'show'. There is an article. Still, if they want to make us angry, put some show behind it. Write it like a wrestling promo.
"Let me tell you something, brother! When this man in Oklahoma kicked a dog, dude, he did it with all of the force of the Hulkamaniacs, man! He said his prayers, ate his vitamins, and really leaned into this kick, dude. That dog started barking, man, yelping in pain. This Sunday, when animal and man are forced into the squared circle for a rematch, brother, who knows who will come out on top! Will dog kick man? Will man bite dog? This Sunday, live at the Pontiac Silver dome, it's Ruff-venge, dude!"

I don't think these articles are real either because there's no resolution at all. No follow up. What happened to the woman and that stupid letter? Where did the guy who was putting seventy eight year old, and ONLY seventy eight year old women, in the Boston Crab until their spines cracked go to? Usually, news stories have resolutions.
'We found the suspect. Man who was putting a live turkey in his ass and then going to the grocery store? Yep. Caught him. No more 'gobble gobble' and 'wobble wobble' for this man.'
Unless we see follow ups to crazy headlines, we shouldn't get upset. Until then, the story could just be a way to get you to click. 

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