Nathan Macintosh

Album 'To The Point' out now everywhere! 8 Tracks. 21 minutes. Debuted #1 on Canadian iTunes and #12 on American iTunes!

Website for comedian Nathan Macintosh! Seen on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, The Late Show With Stephen Colbert, Conan on TBS and Just For Laughs!

You can find show dates, Videos, Blog, Instagram, Twitter, and Podcast 'Positive Anger'

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Filtering by Category: "wrestling"

A man orders a sandwich. What he received was a blog about those types of articles.

You've seen a headline like this. It's pretty much all Facebook has become. People posting articles with ridiculous, goading titles that make others click on them.
"A woman looks at a snake. What she saw in it's dead eyes made her switch to Geico."
"A man opens his phone bill. What he saw under 'Balance Due' made him rock hard."
These articles are posted everyday, people click, and what happens next, will rock your whole face to your core and back up to your head then off again to the floor.

What usually happens is the article is supposed to see a situation in a different light. Snakes aren't that bad, have human feelings, and can turn you on. You never know what you'll find in the mail. That type of thing. People get sad, or happy, or inspired by the story. They are always supposed to have some kind of point. Some sort of life lesson that you will pick up at the end of the story. You're supposed to click, and change how you look at the world.
"Wow. I always hated opening my phone bill. I mean, it's just more money I have to throw away. But this one made a guy rock hard? From now on, I'll be excited to open them!"

What really happens? Is that someone, somewhere makes money from the ads that are posted on this story. You click on it, someone gets paid. Which is why they are written to get you to open them. It works. If someone comes up to you and is very vague about something, you'd want to know more about the situation.
"Hey, I ordered a rum and coke from this bar. What they gave me opened my mind up to unimaginable things."
(Person walks away)
"Woa. I was going to get a rum and coke. What the hell did he get? Sex on the beach? Tom Collins? DMT? I gotta ask him."

It's not just these types of articles that make us click. There are articles that instantly make people angry, and so they click to read more. "Man kicks ice cream cone into kids face". "Bus driver won't let old woman on the bus". "Second graders thrown off of a cliff because they couldn't find Dakota on a map". People will post these articles and comment underneath to let you know how angry they are.
"'Man strangles dog with live cat.' How the hell could he do that?! This is awful. Do you hear me, cat rope strangler! I hate you! I hope a fifty foot cat chokes YOU!"
An article about a woman who beat her kids with a bike that's on fire will be posted. She lives in Sasquatch, Kentucky or wherever the hell, and we'll get pissed that this woman lit this ten speed on fire and started playing tee ball with her kids. We shouldn't care at all. 

Why do I say we shouldn't care? Because honestly, I don't believe that all of these articles are real. There's no way. Am I an article doctor? No. But there's no way some of these aren't just meant to get you outraged so that you click. Why would there be a news story about a racist letter a woman wrote? I saw an article that was 'Woman writes letter to her neighbour that she should have her autistic son put down". Real thing? I don't believe it. And again, even if it is, the woman's an idiot, who cares? She's not the president. She doesn't have any power. A letter at your door like that is just a written out YouTube comment.
"I would love to post that her autistic son scares the hell out of me and should die, but she doesn't have a video of him online. Wait! People used to write letters when they wanted to comment. To my pen and paper!"

I think a lot of this stuff is wrestling. It's made up to make us angry. Wrestlers do this constantly. Get people riled up to buy pay per views and to buy tickets to live events. Cool. Not a problem. They are selling a show. When writers do it, there is no 'show'. There is an article. Still, if they want to make us angry, put some show behind it. Write it like a wrestling promo.
"Let me tell you something, brother! When this man in Oklahoma kicked a dog, dude, he did it with all of the force of the Hulkamaniacs, man! He said his prayers, ate his vitamins, and really leaned into this kick, dude. That dog started barking, man, yelping in pain. This Sunday, when animal and man are forced into the squared circle for a rematch, brother, who knows who will come out on top! Will dog kick man? Will man bite dog? This Sunday, live at the Pontiac Silver dome, it's Ruff-venge, dude!"

I don't think these articles are real either because there's no resolution at all. No follow up. What happened to the woman and that stupid letter? Where did the guy who was putting seventy eight year old, and ONLY seventy eight year old women, in the Boston Crab until their spines cracked go to? Usually, news stories have resolutions.
'We found the suspect. Man who was putting a live turkey in his ass and then going to the grocery store? Yep. Caught him. No more 'gobble gobble' and 'wobble wobble' for this man.'
Unless we see follow ups to crazy headlines, we shouldn't get upset. Until then, the story could just be a way to get you to click. 

twitter @nathanmacintosh

Some people hate wrestling. Why?

Last weekend, I went to WrestleMania. Now, granted, I would have preferred to go as a kid. That was when I watched wrestling, and when I had more of an idea of what was going on. A friend of mine who never stopped watching, asked me if I wanted to go as it was in New Jersey this year. Even though I haven't watched wrestling in years, I agreed. I started watching again so I would have some idea of what was happening at Mania. It's not like NASCAR. There are storylines.
"Hey, why is number 49 trying to drive faster than number 17? Did 17 sleep with his wife?"
"I don't think so. He has to drive faster to win."
"Huh. I find the wife-sleeping story more interesting. Drive, number 49! He really gave it to her!"
WrestleMania was an amazing time, but since then, I've heard a lot of people say they hate wrestling.

One of the main arguments towards why people don't like it is that it's fake. People like to say that as if it's the first time you've ever heard it.
"Why would you watch that, man? He's not actually hitting him. Don't you know this is staged?"
Buddy, it's 2013. Everyone knows that wrestling is fake. To tell someone that they shouldn't like wrestling because it's fake today? You're the idiot here. It's like telling someone magic isn't real.
"You didn't ACTUALLY make that card disappear. It's probably in your sleeve."
"... Your imagination is awful."
Who cares if it's fake? Is everything you watch real? Are you actually at war when you play Call of Duty? Is the Phantom of the Opera REALLY in that Broadway show? Is Dr. Who a documentary?
"Man, I love Dr. Who. The way he destroys these daleks. I'd love to meet him one day."
"...You mean the actor who plays him? He's not real, man."
"WHAT!? Actor? No! But he's right there! I can see him! Look, he's right there!"
Why is it so hard to suspend disbelief when it's wrestling? It is theatre with fighting. That is all.

People have no problem telling fans of wrestling that they're stupid. A lot of people feel that they are above wrestling, while there is a lot worse entertainment out there.
"Wrestling? That's insane. I watch The Voice, Can You Cut, Splash, Can You Splash, So You Think You Can Weld And Skateboard At The Same Time, Dancing With Eagles, Cook Your Face, Single Moms Of Kentucky, Wal-Mart Wars, and The Bachelor, but wrestling? That's just stupid."
Some people really don't like wrestling fans, but just about everyone likes at least ONE wrestler. You'd tell a guy wrestling is dumb, but see a wrestler you like and freak out.
"You like wrestling? That's some of the stupidest junk that ther... wait, is that The Rock? Rock! You're the best, Rock! I've seen like four of your movies!"

Why are wrestling fans thought of as some of the worst human beings on the planet? Because of how they dress? Just the simple fact that they like wrestling? Have you looked at EVERY fan of ANYTHING else? If you did, you'd probably be embarrassed at what you like.
"Oh my God. HE likes basketball? I can't be seen watching this junk. Guess I'll have to watch professional glass eating. Something only real cool guys watch."
If you went to hear an amazing lecture, one that was really intelligent and captivating, would it be deemed useless if the person who delivered it was a wrestling fan?
"Wow, that was really smart and engaging. I'm happy I got to hear it."
"Yeah. You know he's a wrestling fan, right?"
"What? A wrestling fan? Well, that changes everything he said. What a complete idiot!"

One great thing about wrestling, if you like it, and you go to it live, you get to experience it with thousands of screaming fans. No joke, live, wrestling is fantastic. People are yelling, chanting, screaming. And I would bet that it almost never turns violent. Why? Because people know it's fake! There's nothing to get serious about. It's fun. I went to a Devils game the night before Mania in Jersey and watched two guys argue with each other until they got kicked out. Why? Because apparently, hockey is a deadly serious issue.
"You don't like my team? You're a piece of trash and I wanna fight you."
"Oh yeah, man? Why don't you drop your foam finger and come say that to my face!"
No reason for that to happen at wrestling. And if you are just interested in TV shows, you will NEVER get the experience of being in a stadium with tons of fans to see them. Will Breaking Bad ever be shown to 80,000 people live?
"Ladies and Gentleman, thank you for coming to Breaking Bad live!"
"Get him, Walter! You're the one who knocks!"
"Shut up, loser! I'm trying to watch the show! And hey, buddy, can you put down your sign that says 'Jesse Forever!' I can't see! Oh, God. The wave? I'm trying to concentrate."
You can't chant at someone else when they invite you over to watch a show.
"Thanks for coming, guys. Oh! The show's starting!"
"LET'S GO, GAME OF THRONES! <Clap, clap, clap clap clap> LET'S GO, GAME O... nobody?"
"...Please leave."

ANYTHING you like is considered stupid to somebody else. That's just how things work.
"I love Breton crackers."
"What are you, dumb? They're too big. They don't make cheese in a shape that would go on a Breton cracker. Round cracker, square cheese. Honestly, it's insane."
Everything is stupid to somebody, but you have to like something.

Twitter @nathanmacintosh