Nathan Macintosh

Welcome to the website for comedian Nathan Macintosh! 

You can find show dates, Videos, Blog, Instagram, Twitter, Album 'I Wasn't Talking', and Podcast 'Positive Anger' 

http://apple.co/1XJ7raY

 

For bookings contact:

Authentic Talent Management:

New York Office
Tel: (718) 422-0200

James Cristiano: james@authenticm.com

Buchwald And Associates: 

New York Office

Conan Smith: (212) 867-1200

 

Rap, commercials, life. Cool ain't cool.

The image that gets shown to us as cool makes me upset. I get really mad about it. One thing that is apparently cool is to act hard, have sex with tons of women, and call them bitches.
"Hey, look at that guy. He can't string a sentence together and he called that girl a bitch because he had sex with her and he doesn't want a relationship. Cool as hell."
It isn't. It's ridiculous. Rap and life are very different things. One is entertainment. The other has real people in it that are all going through stuff.


I like rap music. A lot. From conscience rap to the most ignorant stuff that comes out. Do I ACTUALLY think it's cool for someone to get shot? No. Do I ACTUALLY think it's cool to throw hundreds of dollars in the air? Not at all. We think these people are cool because they're in videos with hot women and money. We think, 'Yo, look at all the women he's got. That's awesome.' THESE WOMEN ARE PAID TO BE THERE! She didn't show up just because this person has clever rhyme schemes. THEY ARE PAID! You got ten grand? You can get this woman to stand in a hallway of your house for an hour. 
"Yeah. Sway from left to right next to this end table with a look in your eye that says you only ever think about having sex. And watch out for the door. My mom will be home soon."
These rappers are only ever shown with gorgeous, big ass women in short shorts who are just waiting to blow you. We think that's what they have. Not always true. You ever see Paul Walls wife? Or Snoop Doggs? Or T- Pains? Go look at these people right now. Regular looking human beings. They look good, but they don't look like the video girls. Would we think rappers were cool if they showed their real women in these videos? Probably not. You can't show someone who actually helps you through this life. Show the big tits, fake bullshit so everyone thinks you're killing it! Best is, these rappers are married to regular people, and we'll say those women are ugly because of the girls these rappers show us constantly in videos. 
"Yo, he married THAT girl? What about the woman leaning on that Maybach? She NEVER wears pants! He's a loser."


This idea to that rap puts out about not trusting people. This 'No New Friends' garbage. Just you, and four other people. Everyone else is trash. Don't trust people you don't know. Strangers are awful, terrible people who are trying to kill you. Talking to them ain't cool. Walk the earth with the five people you met when you were younger and NEVER make another friend. THAT'S cool.
"These people just happened to go to my daycare. I will only talk to them from now on. You stay over there. You are trash and I do not trust you. I will have no new friends of any kind at any point in life."
NEW FRIENDS! ALWAYS BE MAKING NEW FRIENDS! Is that not cool?

Dumb and ignorant is not cool. It's a wrestling move used in rap to make money. Actual dumb is not 'real' , 'straight up', or 'keeping it a hundred' It's just... straight... dumb.  You can't be smart and cool? You can't know about a foreign country without being cool? You can't  say 'I don't give a fuck' every three seconds and be a cool person? You can't have good marks, go to college, and care about your future if you want to be considered cool?


I'm tired of seeing that being cool is only ever talking about the good in your life. I did this, I did that. I'm doing this. I'm the best. That ain't cool! It's a fraud that most of us put up to look cool in front of other people. We are NOT all balling. And 'balling' is a stupid thing too. Most of the time it's people spending money they don't have on things they don't need.
"Gucci belt. Balling! I ain't got food at my house, but this fabric strap around my waste? Outta control, son!"


Making fun of celebrities is not cool. Stop doing it. Leave these people alone. Watch their movies, or listen to their music, and if you want to comment on those things? Sure. But jesus christ, making fun of what they're wearing, or how they walk, or what they eat, or how they react in an interview, just stop. You are not cool because you come up with the most clever way to say that Justin Bieber should burn alive in a drunk driving accident. You think you are? Find Perez Hilton and you two can beat each other off in a 'whose cattier?' circle.


Alcohol commercials show us that drinking is cool. Loud music, dancing. Cool, right? Sure. But when was the last time you were out in a place that resembled an alcohol commercial? Never. In REAL life, there are some unattractive people in a bar. 
"Heavens, no! We can't show them that? Why would they continue to drink Bud if they think that an ugly person is going to be around? Or a big person? We can't show big people! THEY DON'T EXIST WHEN YOU'RE DRINKING! Just good looking girls, and good looking/ goofy looking guys exist when Bud is around. EVERYONE knows that."
They never show commercials about actual things that happen when drinking. When was the last time they showed a commercial with someone throwing up? Or crying about their ex? Or drinking until they couldn't walk? Or fighting someone because they're too drunk to understand that you shouldn't do that? Can't show that stuff. That stuff ain't cool. I used to drink a ton. I've been around a bunch of people who did the same. Had drinking always been like a commercial, I never would have stopped. These commercials have the audacity to show a guy about to hook up with three hot girls, and then say 'Drink responsibly.' What? Why would anyone do that, when if you drink, apparently you are in places where there are only hot people that want you? You want me to be a sex machine responsibly? We're supposed to slow down on this magic fuck potion that makes everything amazing? Sure thing.

Being rude to people you don't know isn't cool. Screwing up your life isn't cool. Writing more than a thousand words in a blog about cool isn't cool, so I'll stop now.


Twitter@nathanmacintosh
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