Nathan Macintosh

Welcome to the website for comedian Nathan Macintosh! 

You can find show dates, Videos, Blog, Instagram, Twitter, Album 'I Wasn't Talking', and Podcast 'Positive Anger' 

http://apple.co/1XJ7raY

 

For bookings contact:

Buchwald And Associates: 

New York Office

Conan Smith: (212) 867-1200

 

We get the picture meme.



In this 140-character/no-time-for-anyone society, we have developed another short way to interact with each other. Yet another way to show how smart and funny we all are with little words. Another way to let people know we are hilarious. And as most things tend to go, this one has been done to death. What am I talking about? Picture memes with 'funny' sayings or quotes on them.

First of all, there are way too many now. At first there were only a couple flying around. Maybe a tree being peed on by a dog saying, "Nooooo! I'm a tree! Don't do me like that!" or "I'll never be back to this park again, but they'll know – this tree is MINE!"
Now? There are so many of these that if you don't see one, you start to get upset.
"Wait… what? I see jokes in status updates, but how in the hell am I supposed to understand them if there isn't a picture to go along with them!? I mean, come on! I'm just a man! PUT UP PICTURES!"
After logging in to Facebook twice in two days and just scrolling down a tiny bit, I found twenty-four of these. Twenty-four! It's hard to find twenty-four people you like on Facebook. Hilarious pictures? Easier than finding your left leg.
"This is ridiculous! I just had it! Now where in the hell did I put my le... oh! Look at that! A picture of an eagle wearing a thong, singing lyrics from LMFAO! I can't walk on it, but man, when you're laughing this hard, who needs two legs?"

All Facebook has become now are these pictures. There's almost nothing else left. Every second update is someone posting one. 
"One update saying what I'm up to, one with a hilarious picture. One update saying what I'm up to, one with a picture of a grandmother saying, "Who needs teeth when you have fake hips!"
Memes are taking over everything!
"How did that happen? My girlfriend’s profile has been taken over by picture of a cat holding up its paw and the words "You must be a member of CAA to enter". How does a picture have any ability to takeover a person’s entire account? How is..."
BOOM!
"Put your hands up, kid! I want your account!"
"Ahhh! How did you get in here, picture of Luke Skywalker getting a family request from Darth Vader?! And what do you want from me!?"
"Don't worry how I got in here. I'm everywhere! I want your account, so that I can annoy anyone who knows you by popping up constantly."
"But... if you do that... people will start to... dislike me..."
"...Exactly."
"Nooooooooo!"
"Hey, that's my line!"

Some of these are funny and creative, if you make them. That's the best part of these, though – you don't even have to make them to be funny! All you have to do is find one and post it and you are hilarious by proxy.
"Hey, guys! Take a look at this!"
"Wow! That's hilarious! You are way too funny. How did you come up with that?"
"Oh, no no. I didn't make it. A faceless shut-in did. I just brought it to you!"
"…Taking a second to think it over – I am still thoroughly impressed and will give you the same amount of credit as if you had made it yourself. You are hilarious!"
"Thank you, thank you. I do have a gift when it comes to telling people about the things I find."

Not only do many of these try to be funny, a lot also try to be inspirational. Does there have to be tons of these as well? Too many pictures of a tree in a field with a single leaf falling from it and a "Remember the Titans"-type inspirational quote underneath.
"When one leaf falls, another one is coming right behind it. Or, the leaf fell off because the tree is dying. But if it's dying, it's going to a better place. YOU are that tree... go to a better place?"
Is anyone who puts these up qualified to be inspirational? Every time someone puts one of these pictures up, there should be another one underneath it.
"The person who put up this inspirational quote about keeping your head down and working hard is a night manager at a Wal-Mart. Do with that information what you will."

How are there so many of these with inspirational quotes? In North America? We need this many inspirational quotes? Seems a bit much. We have everything! Everything is open to us! Yet we still need to be told how we can achieve anything we want? There's no way there are this many inspirational quotes floating around in places that need it. Places such as North Korea. 
"You are not as good as the leader, but you are still okay. Well, only if the leader says so. The leader wants you to love him. You are an okay lover... says the leader."

If you need that much motivation in your life, you might want to stop Googling inspirational pictures and get off of Facebook.
"Yes, I know I'm on parole. No, I haven't started looking for a job. I've been searching for inspirational quotes, and have yet to come across one that tells me to find a part time job at Staples. I have, though, spent six hours sending these pictures to others and telling them to solve their problems head-on with pictures of runners and dogs jumping, and that COULD be a jo... what? I'm going back to jail if I don't find a real job?! Wait! I found one of an ant lifting a rock that says, "Keep Lifting". Doesn't that count for anything? I AIN’T GOING BACK TO JAIL!"

Why are we taking pictures and adding captions to them? Are we all trying to win a worldwide caption contest that I haven't been told about – like they have in the back of newspapers?
"Oh, man. A picture is worth a thousand words, but I wonder if I could make this one that is clearly a picture of a sad person funny in ten words? Only one way to find out! Being-hilarious skills, go to work! "I’m poor, have bad hair, and an abusive family, but you know what? You like Glee. Suck it, stupid!" There. I think I nailed it. Now just sit back and wait for the likes and comments to roll in."

One of the most annoying things about these is that some people don't see these memes when they first come out, then five weeks later they will post it thinking they are the first to stumble across it.
"Guys! Check this out! It's hilarious. I just saw it, therefore it's new to all!"
"...That was posted four weeks ago."
"...But I just... I just found it..."
"The internet world feels for you, but nobody even likes the cat wearing the sombrero with the caption "Cinco De Meow" anymore. Now we're on to "Happy Meow-thers Day” with a cat being hugged by its kittens. From now on, try to keep up."

I think the ones I dislike the most are the condescending Willy Wonkas.
"Oh, you keep copying all of the Wonka pictures and adding in your own captions? Tell me more. Oh, you still think these are funny and keep posting them as if they are? Tell me more."
Why do so many of these have to be references from so long ago? All old references that we can mock people with. The pencil and the cassette tape.
"Do you know how these two go together? If not, you're younger than me – ergo, dumber."
References to Star Wars.
"Hey, Luke, I'm your father. Remember? We figured that out in 1980 when 
I told you in that movie? Anyway, I thought I'd tell you again thirty-two years later – through song."
The reference to Zelda, Ocarina of Time.
"Took half of my life to beat, but it was worth it."
First of all, there's no way that game took half of your life to beat. I beat it when I was thirteen. It took half of my grade six year, but I'm sure I didn't miss much.
Can we stop with these? What is the point? The only people who are doing these are people who are old enough to remember the thing they are referencing, but still feel the need to use new school ways of gloating about it.
"What do you know about the video game Monsters in My Pocket? Huh?! For the first Nintendo!? You weren't even born, stupid! That's old school! You don't know nothing about that! It was before your time! But the iPhone and the Mac I used to show you about it are clearly right in your time. I... I guess... ah hell. You're still stupid!"

These memes are things that would be funny to people who work in offices. People who are doing anything to pass the time and not think about their day. Passed back and forth from cubical to cubical.
"Hey, check this out! It'll make you not want to kill yourself for two minutes."
"A whole two minutes? Man, that's huge. Not since high school have I felt that level of not killing myself-edness."
With memes being passed around so much, Facebook now seems like an office. It's now become a water cooler where we can all stop and talk hilarity.
"Hey, man, you see the picture of the Credible Hulk?"
"Psssh, I wish. This job is kicking my ass. I'm thinking of taking a picture of our boss and writing the caption, "I'm a boss, which stands for Bald Old Son of a Saddlehack" on it.
"Ewwww, already done, big fella."
"Really? Saddlehack? I don't even know what it means, I just like how it sounded."
"Yeah, done. Gary in marketing. That guy uses every club in the bag."

Soon, I hope we can get back to jokes without pictures. Until then, what about this – a picture of Inspector Gadget standing in line in a grocery store with tons of groceries in front of him and the caption, "Go, go gadget credit! ...Well, I guess I'll have to go go gadget steal it." No? Nothing? You're right. It does need a picture.
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